This week, my uncle passed away. The 3rd born child and oldest son of my maternal grandparents, his mother, who is 85, has outlived one of her four children. It was a shock that he was dead, when my aunt who found his body called me on Tuesday to say that he had passed away, but he had been facing health problems, certainly. He was only 64, just this past February. He was only 15 1/2 years older than me. He should be here when our grandmother passes away. In other words, things don't always happen in the order we expect them to happen. We don't get to determine the order of things. We just arrogantly think we do.
My grandmother had been told very recently by this uncle that he knew where things stood between him and the Lord. Without going into details, this was someone in our family whose status with the Lord was not as well known as others, so this was a blessing to us as we said goodbye to him here on earth, to know we will see him when we see the Lord.
When two of his three children came to Knoxville from Georgia, I felt led to share with one of his sons, Rob, that this conversation had taken place. He told me "you don't know how much comfort that gives me"... I thought I understood. I didn't.
The next day, three of the 7 "grand kids" (all 7 of us are over 38, but are still known as the kids), myself, Rick, the oldest son of my grandparents' youngest son, and Rob, the middle child of the one who had passed away, were on our grandmother's front porch, and immediately the conversation had gone to our walk with the Lord, when just Rick and I were there. Rob joined us and added his own flavor to the conversation.
We had discussed our beliefs about Salvation, Death and it's consequences, Heaven, Creation and Hell... somehow, the conversation turned to how we wanted to witness to our family and friends but that was the HARDEST thing to do. I tried to quote a Scripture about how "the prophet wasn't recognized in his home town" and we all got to telling how we had tried to share news with our parents or our siblings, etc, but felt that it was because they know our shortcomings and our failures, so sometimes the people we love the most are the ones God has to use others to reach... that is when Rob shared a story we all can relate to... He wanted to talk to his dad about the state of his soul. but could never get him to allow that conversation. When he was told that his father was, as we put it "ready to go", it was an answer to his prayers that the Lord would send someone to make sure that he knew the Lord or lead him there, if need be. We marveled, as a trio, at how God always answers our prayers, sometimes in the way we want, sometimes not. We shared in Rob's joy at not having to worry about his dad's soul,at not having to think this goodbye was eternal. We recognized that God loves all of us enough that He made sure Rob's heart was unburdened as much as it could be in that hour when he faced saying "goodbye for now" to his father, and that Rob didn't carry that guilt for the rest of his life for not having been able to have that conversation with his dad.
All of us agreed that there was someone in our lives we wanted to witness to, but their position in the family or their personalities, etc., made it so hard that we can't be the one to do the witnessing to them that we want to do. We are asking Him to send the right one to them, so that we don't have to wonder if they are Born Again.
For me, it was my father in law. The Lord laid it on my heart to ask this man who had beaten and abused his wives (plural) and his son, my husband, this man who had been alcoholic all his life, if he had had a moment when he had asked the Lord to come into his heart and be his Savior. I really wanted to, but I didn't want to offend him, newly born again Christian that I was, and I didn't want to be the one to tell him that without Jesus, he was bound for a devil's Hell. I didn't want to be the one to acknowledge what we all knew... his cancer was going to kill him in a matter of days, barring a miracle. I got into the elevator and prayed, "Lord, please send someone else... and if he lives until my next visit, I'll do it. I just couldn't do it tonight"... my father in law passed away three hours later. I have spent the last 24 years wondering if anyone went to him that night... I praise God that Rob didn't have to live with this as I do.. .
It made the three of us, Rick, Rob and myself, marvel at how our Father cares for us, how Grace gets us through anything. We had Church right there on Nanny's porch. We worshipped Him with our testimonies, with our concerns and with our sharing of encouragement to one another. We had a time!
I told my husband that night that, while I, the eldest grandchild, had known all of the younger ones all their lives, and loved them all, I felt that I had gotten to know them in a "primal" way that day.
What is funny, looking back, is that God allowed us privacy.. that front door had opened and closed a hundred thousand times in the past 24 hours, but it only opened once in those 2 to 21/2 hours we spent together... no one came out and interrupted us, no one came in to comfort the family, and this was NOT what we had been experiencing... God ordained our time together, and even though I am saddened at my uncle's death, I thank God that we had that time together as adults, to talk this through, that we go to know each other in that way, and that we agreed to get the other four "kids" as they still call us (the youngest is over 30, and I, the eldest am 49) together soon, so we can get to know each other better. As kids, we were all closer to one or the other, but now as adults, we each have things we can bring to the table. We are all so different, yet still the same... we are all adults, yet, in that setting, we are still ten years old, as Rick put it.
Rick and I share that "first born" feeling that we have to do everything in a certain way, Rob is the only middle child, since his father is the only sibling of the four to have 3 children. Teresa and I are the only girls. Some are financially sound, with no future worries, some of us not so much, some are married, some never, some divorced, etc... we have all these levels of common ground. We want to explore our family relationships before one of this generation has to leave.
In hindsight, this is a foretaste of things to come in Heaven... I always think of Heaven in the literal. I like to think of us sitting around on one of our mansion porches, telling the tales of how He brought us through this or that, sharing memories, laughing together as we reminisce, etc...
I like to think that in Heaven that "primal" bonding we shared will continue, and those angels who sat around us unseen this past Wed. will be visible and sit around in awe as we share our Salvation stories... they don't understand that experience, and I can picture them just watching us and trying to understand how important that moment was in our lives, as if we are the actors in a play and they, our audience.
I end this post with two challenges...
1) Sometime soon, your family may face death's call. Will someone in your family be worried that the loved one is suffering Hell, or is it certain that all of you will be reunited?
2) Do you connect with your loved ones occasionally and discover your differences and marvel at how different yet alike you are? Do you share your testimonies with them? If not, do it... it will more than likely start a chain of events that will forever change the dynamics of your family. It will most certainly bring Glory to the One who wants us to share Him with the world... including our families.
It is His will that NONE should perish... don't be like me, wondering until that day if you were the last chance someone had to meet Him, but be sure that those you love are taken care of.
If a house were on fire and the person you most fear witnessing to were in it or about to go into it, would you rescue them or stop their entry? Of course... we all would... Hell is that burning place, and we are allowing people we love to just go on in. We don't even try to stop them. WHY? Will you have the Boldness, the Love, to stop them?
