Renewing Relationships

After having been married 29 years, raising two daughters, facing the loss of both our fathers, my husband's mother, and facing my husband's retirement and subsequent cancer,Gary and I FINALLY took our long-awaited honeymoon a couple of weeks ago.
We went to Savannah, Charleston and spent the last few days at Myrtle Beach. We had such a good time, and spent so much time exploring that we forgot to make it this big, romantic adventure, the Honeymoon we had talked of often.
We had reached a point in our marriage where we loved each other, but had lost sight of the initial relationship that resulted in all of the above-mentioned time spent together.
Gary and I have had a very tumultuous relationship, one fraught with happiness, pain and heartache, laughter, tears and hope. We had each pursued our individual dreams, without ever really having a common goal, other than being together. In other words, we were two people living separate lives, albeit under the same roof.
On those occasions when our goals forced us to spend more than a few hours together, planning the same event or the same goal, we were fire and ice, dynamite... we couldn't agree on anything.
But something happened on this vacation. I can't explain it.
You see, I planned a day trip on a boat, exploring the barrier islands of S. Carolina as my gift to Gary on our trip. He was supposed to plan a day for me, and the other 6 days we had were going to be planned as we went. Seven of those days were fantastic. The 8th never happened.
Gary failed to plan his day for me. He spent the entire trip home apologizing for what he felt was a missed opportunity.
I, on the other hand, didn't see things quite the same way- for the 1st time ever, I didn't seize the opportunity to let him know how he'd failed, once again, to plan for me, to do something for me..God had already shown me that He had provided the money for the entire trip by Gary's being willing to work overtime to pay for it, to scrimp and save on the body work on his truck after a hail storm, saving some of his insurance pay-out, to come up with the funds. To me, that was planning, and it showed me he HAD thought of me, and made me feel like the one who did the least.
To this day, Gary tells me every single day how much he loved our day on the boat. I did, too. I tell him how much I loved the entire trip.

I see this trip as a mirror of our time with God.
We plan and plan our walk with Him, only to focus on that one day, that one moment, when we slipped and fell. We focus on that anger we felt, or that misspoken word, rather than seeing how many times we didn't fail Him.
He, on the other hand, sees the journey, not the detours. He sees the time that we could have reacted in anger or hatred when some offense occurred, but turned to Him in prayer. He sees the many times you could have ignored a phone call from a lonely person, but chose to answer and spend a few minutes with them, no matter how insignificant the topic.
We see our shortcomings, He sees our potential. He just waits for us to take a step at a time to reach it.

Gary and I have found ourselves rushing home each day since our trip, just so we can squeeze in a few minutes together. It wasn't what we were seeking when we went on vacation. We thought we could go back almost 30 years, and find that new, white-hot, all consuming love that a couple has when they first start out.While important, that attraction is mostly physical, and doesn't last.  What we got was the real thing... we look forward to a few minutes sharing the events of our day, so that the other isn't left out of that part of our lives. We got the respect for the other person's feelings, the appreciation for the little things each does for the other.
For example, the fact that I seldom, if ever have to pump gas may not sound very romantic to you. But my husband is still not back to his strong, healthy self. He works 12-14 hours five days per week to support us. Yet, he takes time every day to meet me or take my car to get gas, so that I don't have to stand in heat or cold, rain, etc. to get gas.I dont' ask him to do this... he insists it is important to him to do it. To me, that is love, concern, caring.
 If I'm running late, I don't have to add to the problem to stop and get fuel, if I it's raining, I'm warm and dry. It makes me call him and tell him thank you... that makes him feel valued.
 He makes tea every day, brings me the first glass out of it every time,and tells me he loves me and thinks I am beautiful, even though I am overweight, even when I'm sweaty from working in the yard, dirty from playing with our grandchildren, or just having a bad hair day.
He tells me how much he appreciates that he never has to come home to a sandwich, a TV dinner, etc. He is a man who not only loves food, but had to be fed via tube for a long time- a time during which he was told he would die, and the liquid formula I fed him through that tube would eventually be his last meal-(yes, he could've fed himself. I just did it. so he didn't feel so alone)
That is why I cook like a maniac, and as often as I can. I plan and plan for his dinners on the weeks I go to the store. I get his input, make all his favorites, and try something new at least once a month, to keep it interesting. He never fails to call me from work to thank me for last night's dinner. I feel appreciated.
We both have decided these are the things that make our marriage one that will last.That first love, the one where you have to touch, kiss, steal away those private moments- those are the times that only two can share. But these are the memories we keep- the ones where a tired, overworked man takes the time to tell his wife how much he appreciates her loving him over the years, not with words, but by making tea, pumping her gas, listening to her day, even though he doesn't know the first thing about the people she mentions.
It's the memory of a Thanksgiving Dinner cooked in Sept, because the treatments he was going to be taking would burn his throat to the point that he couldn't swallow water by November, and he just happened to mention that he hated to miss Thanksgiving.
Those are the memories we will have when one of us leaves the other, if we dont' go in the Rapture first.
Our relationship with God is just like that. We start out serving Him, expecting every day to be fireworks and light. To a point, it is. I mean, He is the Creator of the Universe.
But, as we try to be His hands and feet, everyday life gets in the way. We begin to lose that "first love" , or maybe we just move it to the side. We fail to realize that, like I appreciate the fuel, and Gary appreciates his food, God appreciates our faithfulness to read His Word, Pray, Seek His Will for our lives, and just generally try not to be who we used to be. When we avoid that situation that could threaten our Walk with Him, He Rejoices... I like to think He grabs an angel and says, "See that one? They chose well in that situation... that one's Mine!"... or something like that, as a proud parent would do.
Those are the moments we get to take with us when we meet Him. As long as we seek His will, He understands that we may not always be filled with our first joy, that feeling we had when we first met Him as our Savior. He appreciates the deep, abiding love we have for Him that comes from time spent trying to do His will.
The idea I'd like for you to take away from this post is that you can take your own vacation, like Gary and I did. Just take a few minutes each day to renew your relationship with Him. You'll be surprised how much renewal can happen in a very short time.
We spend so much time worrying about how we talk to Him, how reverent we are- and we should be... but He is more concerned with whether we spend time with Him at all. We worry over the how... He sees the attempt to do well.
 Compare your time with Him to a visit with a grandparent... they don't care if you are in your Sunday best, or your work out clothes. Neither does He... both are simply happy that you chose to visit with them at all...
Don't forget to spend a moment resting in His arms, His word, His presence, each day! You will never have a  boring relationship with Him if you try to please Him in just a small way, everyday.